A dark room.

It's almost 2012. This time next year, the Mayans will have raptured their people to...wherever Mayans go when they die. And the rest of us stay here. And the world ends. I guess.

I have a new job. I work for Amazon.com now, answering the phone in Kindle customer support. It's a cool job, but I have a tendency to make things harder than they should be. I also have no time to do homework, which isn't good for my grades. Very bad, actually.

I still have a boyfriend. We've almost made it a year. I still love him dearly, but I blame him and his penchant for dining out for all the weight I've gained since I started dating him. Sheesh.

Finally, for Christmas this year, my sister gave me three little bamboo trees. I really don't want to kill them because they're cute, but I have killed every plant I've ever owned. How can I ever hope to be a good parent if I can't even keep plants alive?

So I am one broke bitch. I was thinking that I could just do something really awesome/retarded and post a video of it on the Interwebs, then have it go viral, and I could make some t-shirts or some other memorabilia to rake in some extra cash. BRILLIANT.

Like Double Rainbow guy. Or a thousand other insane people who do something that in all reality isn't that spectacular, but bored bitches (like me) on the Internet find it amazing or hilarious...mostly hilarious...and now this dude will go down in history. Seriously, how does this happen? How can one predict the internet?

IT'S NOT POSSIBLE.

However, it's pretty much guaranteed that if you are certifiably crazy, your video or whatever will go viral and your 15 minutes of internet fame will commence.

The only downside is that the internet is unstable and ravenous. The public at large, face to face, is a harsh mistress, indeed. But the internet public is a million times worse. They are protected by anonymity and will devour you alive much like a hoard of piranhas. They don't hear your screams, they only know that they're hungry. That is the internet. They don't give a flying fuck about your feelings, they only know that they want to be entertained. And sometimes, if not most of the time, the majority of the internet is entertained by cruelty.

So in retrospect, I suppose that internet popularity isn't so great after all. If you can handle the massive amounts of hatred and bullshit, then you have arrived. I have a lot of respect for the ones who have arrived and stayed for an extended period of time.

I've always been a fan of paranormal shit. When I was a kid I watched Unsolved Mysteries religiously, and always loved it when they had paranormal side stories. Lately I've been soaking it up with Ghost Whisperer via Netflix and this "True Ghost Stories" app on my phone. Aside from being highly entertaining, it really doesn't serve much purpose except make me even more paranoid.

I still have a man. He is still awesome. He is my current favorite thing. Person. Whatever.

I hate Walmart. One of my favorite things is fire. Combine the two = FUN TIMES FOR EVERYONE!

I've also realized that I have a weird obsession with butterflies, trippy colors, and plushy pillows. I recently bought a butterfly solar light that has fiber optic wiring. At night it changes colors like a trippy fiber optic tree. It is the most gnarly thing ever.

And I wish someone would keep me out of bookstores. I can't NOT spend too much money every time I go in one. Yesterday I bought 10 books of Madlibs.

Finally, Fast Five was amazing. Vin Diesel. THE ROCK, OMG. Two more favorite things. People. Whatever.

So in the past few months I have obtained a new car and a new boyfriend. The car I've had for about two weeks now. The boyfriend I've had since the middle of February. Valentine's Day, to be exact. How kickass is that. It happened really fucking fast. He is awesome.

The car is a 2005 Chevy Malibu. Silver. A great car. I love how it drives and it's super comfy and roomy. Also has a better sound system than my Neon. My poor Neon was destroyed after it hit its last deer. The insurance company bought my Neon, so I used that money plus a loan to partially pay for the Malibu and my grandmother, bless her heart, paid for the rest. She is also awesome.

Now all I need is a new job and a new place to stay. I love my grandma but I need my own fucking bathroom. For serious.

It's ball-freezing cold outside. If I had balls, they'd have fallen off by now.

I blame 2012. Everything that happens from now until December 21, 2012, I will blame on 2012. Because I love a good bandwagon when I see one, and this bandwagon will be entertaining as shit.

So until the Mayans come back to get their calendar, I plan on enjoying the fuck out of this ride. Play along with me now, children.

In other news, I've already spent my tax refund in my head. I need to get my damn car fixed so I can pay out the ass for gas on long trips again. I feel the urge to travel and see what civilization is like outside of this shithole.

That and I need new glasses. And a visit to the dentist, in a bad, bad, bad way.

And various recreational things.

Is it me or is Facebook turning into one giant chain letter? A giant chain letter with family drama, teen angst and desperate pleas for attention thrown in for good measure.

Oh, ok, so it's not just me.

Speaking of chain letters, I figured out that they're the reason I'm still single. All those chain letters I never forwarded, for all the umpteen years I've been using email, cell phones, and the like, have added up to a millennium of bad luck in love and possibly everything else.

I should just go break a mirror. At this point, it probably won't make much difference, lulz

Wow it's been 2 months since I updated. Not a whole lot is going on, really. I just worked Black Friday, which was ridiculously busy, on no sleep. I've been awake 24 hours now. I am really tired, just trying to wind down.

I started taking depression meds back in October. I didn't really want to but I was starting to scare myself. Normally I can bring myself out of it but it wasn't happening, so I chose medication. The first pill kept me awake and didn't really do shit for the depression. The one I'm on now is better...it doesn't keep me awake and has given me kind of a don't-give-a-shit attitude, which is nice. I feel more level, more even, which is what I was going for.

I just bought a Kinect, which is cool as fuck. I love the dance game, as it introduces real dance moves instead of stomping on arrows like Dance Dance Revolution, which I still love but come on, that's not real dancing! Just like Guitar Hero is in no way, shape or form actual guitar skills. Someone said the government uses the Kinect to spy on people, but I don't really care. If the government wants to watch me shake my fat ass, they're more than welcome.

It's been awhile since I had anything to say about anime, which I kind of stopped watching. I still download One Piece but haven't watched any. However, since I signed up for Xbox Live and now can watch Netflix on my TV, I've noticed their anime selection isn't too shabby. I pretty much love the Soul Eater dub, and I just watched Noein in two days. That was a great series. Confusing as hell, but interesting and pretty.

And next week I turn 29. I've decided to de-age instead of get older, because 30 hasn't really been as awesome as I expected. 30 has kind of sucked balls. It was like the instant I turned 30, my body decided to fall apart. I feel like I've been cursed.

So that's all that's been going on with me. I'm going to go pass out now.

I've spent the last six hours watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand. This show is fucking gorgeous on blu-ray, not to mention holy shit there are some fine ass dudes walking around. Some of them with their cocks hanging. Lots of T&A going on in this show, too. Christ almighty.

So my emotions have ranged, in the past six hours, anywhere from OMG PRETTY!! to RAGE. RAGE RAGE RAGE! to BLOOD EVERYWHERE HOLY SHIT. I can't even describe the amount of awesome this show is. I haven't seen anything like it. And I thought Gladiator was bloody. Shit. This show makes Gladiator look like fucking Disney.

It's really kind of depressing that Andy Whitman quit the show, but cancer is serious shit. And really it's not going to kill any of us if the show doesn't continue, but still. I wouldn't be surprised if the first season ends with a cliffhanger. I did read that there will be a prequel, which would be cool, but I kind of want the show to continue. It's sad, but I think they should replace him. Provided they can find someone equally as awesome.

So my cousins and I went canoeing on Tuesday. This was a very bad idea.

When the canoe livery was opened, they kept the creek clean. This is not the case anymore. There's a good reason why no one is really allowed to canoe down this creek, because it's not navigable. I lost count how many times we had to get up out of the stupid canoe, carry the canoe around fallen trees, and then row for five more minutes only to do it again. This went on for roughly 8 hours. We took a few breaks, but by the time we realized how long it would take us to get to our designated spot, we were done. It was pretty much like torture after that. Freakin crazy. I was ready to sit my ass on a log somewhere and wait for someone to come get me. I'd had enough of trees in the creek.

At one point we switched and I got in the raft we were pulling behind us. Not two minutes after that, I got ass-raped by a tree limb sticking out of the water.

I also fell twice and tore out my back, which still hurts like a bitch. The rest of me is not so sore, thankfully. Although I feel like I probably aggravated my carpal tunnel.

So yeah, last time I go canoeing for awhile. If anyone wants me to go canoeing again, I can get a box, sit it in the middle of the living room floor, and use some drumsticks or some shit as paddles.

Yeesh.

How to Train Your Dragon is adorable. I admit the plot and dialogue are very predictable and the character designs are not the greatest, but for some reason that movie just...appeals to me. I was highly entertained. I may have shed a tear.

I think the best parts of the movie were the flight scenes. Put together with excellent music, they make for some awesome shit. And the soundtrack was pretty good. I'm a sucker for bagpipes and flutes and violins and whatnot.

I definitely want to see The Expendables. I am a huge fan of mindless action flicks and their overachieving kick-ass heroes. Thus when I saw the preview for this movie I practically had a heart attack in my chair. Dear god does this movie look absolutely ridiculous and ridiculously awesome. I can't fucking wait. I don't get this excited about movies very often. I'm also pretty damn excited about the last Harry Potter movie(s). The preview for that looked unbelievable.

Inception also looks interesting. Invading people's dreams and making them sort of reality? Or not really reality, just using them against other people, maybe? The trailer didn't really make sense, but I know one thing. Leo has aged well. He is a pretty, pretty man.

That is all.